Why do kids stare at people all the time? Why doesn’t my kid play with other kids? If you’ve ever asked yourself either of those questions, then you’ll find it helpful to take a look at the six stages of play. Reviewing these common stages of play that kiddos experience during the early years will help answer these questions and many more.
If you really just want to know why toddlers stare at people, click here!
What Are the Six Stages of Play?
In 1932, an American sociologist from the University of Minnesota’s Institute of Child Development, Mildred Parten, observed that kids naturally go through various social stages of play in early childhood. Parten categorized these stages into six groupings. Over 90 years later, the play community continues to recognize these stages.
Stages of Play
Why Are the Six Stages of Play Important?
The most important aspect of Parten’s Six Stages are the skills that kids develop along the way. As a caregiver, you might find it helpful to familiarize yourself with the variety of ways little ones socially interact. It can also be validating to know that your kid's behavior isn't weird, just typical.
Note: The age range of the stages is highly debated. I decided to reference the range from Pathways.org because I've found it to be the most accurate timeline amongst kids I’ve worked with.
Unoccupied Play (0 - 3 months)
These are the days when babies are high off life as they explore what their bodies can do and what actions they take warrant a response from caregivers— think of the unoccupied play stage as a time of self-discovery!
Examples of Unoccupied Play:
Movement (reaching, kicking, etc.), grabbing at toys, exploring on play mats or play gyms
How to entertain a 3 month old?
Caregivers can entertain 3 month old babies with activities like peek-a-boo using your hands or play scarves and mirror play.
Tip: No mirror? Prop up your phone or ipad and turn it on selfie mode; this doesn’t qualify as screen time since it’s comparable to a mirror reflection
What can a 3 month old baby play with?
Three-month olds can play with toys that are easy to grasp— baby paper, toy rattles, teethers. Art cards with bold patterns and textures or bright colors are great for stimulation. This is also a nice age to introduce babies to music. Instrumental jams and classical music can be particularly calming.
How does unoccupied play help development?
Unoccupied play allows little ones to familiarize themselves with their abilities and their environment.
Solitary Play (0 - 2 years)
Also referred to as independent play, solitary play is the stage when kids begin playing with less dependence on the direct engagement and reliance of caregivers. Parten noted that throughout this stage, it’s common for kids to be more self-centered and focused on individual projects or outcomes through play. This is also the stage when children begin using pragmatic thinking and comprehending cause and effect.
Example of Solitary Play:
Despite a caregiver being close by, a child is able to play/entertain themselves over short durations of time. For example, a child might explore a play gym while you unload the dishwasher.
How to encourage independent play?
One way to encourage independent play is by setting up a "yes space" for kiddos (a safe area in which a few toys or books are easily accessible). Caregivers can also use child-led guided play as scaffolding to increase learning outcomes. Guided play is sometimes referred to as play based learning and can be complemented through setting up low prep activities using household objects.
Which toys are best for independent play?
Following the unoccupied play stage, the best toys for independent play vary based on your little one's age, interests, and abilities. Here are a few recommended toys based on age ranges.
Babies: Shape sorter, soft books, stacking toys, blocks
Tabies (12-24 months): Reusable drawing toys, shape sorter, felt book stories, cause & effect toys
How does solitary/independent play help development?
Independent play allows children to explore their current abilities, limitations, and build resilience through trial-and-error and long-term practice.
Onlooker Play (2 - 3½ years)
Onlooker play looks like the kid version of people watching. Well, except for the fact that kids can be very overt about people watching— they will literally stand in front of another kid and stare them down without saying a single word. This behavior might appear odd or rude, but it’s totally natural. It’s not just their peers that kids stare down, they also take close notice to what grownups are up to.
Examples of Onlooker Play:
I’m sure you’ve seen the viral reels or Tik Toks featuring adults at a playground staring at the camera as it moves. The caption overlay usually reads something like “every toddler as you walk past them at the park.” You know the videos I’m talking about— that’s onlooker play.
💡 Did You Know? The onlooker stage explains why so many kids are fascinated by watching toy unboxing videos!
What activities support onlooker play?
An easy way to support onlooker play is to model play— sit on the floor, build a block tower. Ideally, kids are provided with opportunities to be around other kids at play.
Which toys are best for onlooker play?
Open-ended toys, pretend play toys, dramatic play toys
How does onlooker play help development?
Through onlooker play, kids develop language and vocabulary, learn social and cultural norms, and begin building self-confidence.
Parallel Play (2 ½ - 3 ½ years)
During parallel play, you’ll find kiddos playing alongside or next to another kiddo, but strictly focused on their own activity or play scene.
Examples of Parallel Play:
Parallel play often takes place in group settings during free play. One child might be focused on building a tower with blocks, while another kid plays with animal figurines. Both kids might be aware of each other's presence, but they don't really interact with one another.
Having a child help with household tasks or chores is also a form of parallel play. An adult can be cooking dinner while the child washes dishes in the sink.
What activities support parallel play?
Individual sensory bins support parallel play. This allows kids to be be engaged in their own activity and enjoy personal space, while becoming slightly more conscious about other kids around them.
Which toys are best for parallel play?
pegs boards, pretend play figurines, cars, art supplies
How does parallel play help development?
Language development (very typical for kids to narrate aloud as they play in this stage)
Associate Play (3 - 4 years)
During associative play, kids face play scenarios where they’re challenged to communicate and share with other kids, but aren't working together to meet a shared goal.
Examples of Associative Play:
I’ve observed kids engaged in associative play most often when using play dough or other sensory materials (requires communication about sharing tools). It's also common to see associative play when kids are building structures with small blocks (magna-tiles come with a lot of compromising discussions about the divvying up of square tiles), and when kiddos use dramatic play toys (they dish out roles and scripts for their playmates to follow).
What activities support associate play?
Some activities that support associative play include sensory table play and general nature play.
Which toys are best for associate play?
Dramatic play toys (play kitchens or grocery store, pretend food, doctor kits, dress up clothes); active play equipment; magna-tiles
How does associative play help development?
Through associative play kids begin noticing that they exist in relation to other kids. Little ones can develop patience, as well as, improve their gross and fine motor skills.
Cooperative Play (4 - 5 years)
According to Parten, the cooperative play stage is a merging of the previous five stages. Kids begin working and playing together more frequently, while striving to achieve a shared goal.
Examples of Cooperative Play:
An example of cooperative play is a handful of kids working together to build a fort. Fort building requires a lot of design planning, turn taking, and compromising. Through this process, little ones practice communication, negotiation, and teamwork to achieve their shared goal: a fort that they can go in and out of without having it collapse on their heads.
What activities support cooperative play?
Sharing limited play equipment, such as slides, swings, climbers; role-playing scenarios
Which toys are best for cooperative play?
jumbo blocks; board games; more advanced puzzles; dramatic play props; puppets; giant playsilks (for epic fort building)
How does cooperative play help development?
Cooperative play allows kids to practice turn taking, sharing, and cooperation. It also improves speech and language development, as well as executive function (planning).
⬇️ Learn More:
Are the Six Stages of Play Linear?
It’s possible for kids to show linear progression through the six stages of play. However, it’s more common for kids to exhibit behaviors from multiple stages, often within the same day. For example, in daycare settings, I’ve worked with some 2 year olds that would spend their mornings watching other kids play (onlooker play), and after nap time, they engaged in interactions that fall under associative play.
Due to limitations in ability (disabilities), culture, neurodivergence, adverse childhood experiences (ACES), and a child’s independent development growth, some kids might skip a stage, take many years to reach a stage, or require assistance to reach a stage.
Do All Kids Go Through the Social Stages of Play?
References
Hughes, Fergus P. Children, Play, and Development. Edited by Fergus P. Hughes, SAGE Publications, 2010, https://books.google.com/books?id=KbnOVfinznEC&pg=PA100#v=onepage&q&f=false.
Parten MB Social Participation among Preschool Children. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology. 1932; 27 (3): 243–269.
“What Are the 6 Stages of Play?” Pathways.org, 16 September 2022, https://pathways.org/watch/stages-of-play/
Hyun, E. (1998). Making sense of developmentally and culturally appropriate practice (DCAP) in early childhood education. New York: Peter Lang. Chapter 2
Comments