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Writer's pictureBriesha Bell

How to Leverage Your Play Style to Build Deeper Connections with Your Kiddo


Collage featuring pictures that coincides with Dr. Stuart Brown's eight play personalities or styles of play.

Let's face it, going along with your kid's drama filled plot line for their Paw Patrol characters isn't much fun. It's natural for our play interests to evolve from our sandbox digging days. With that, To make play fun again,I encourage you to reflect on the following question: how do you like to play?

If you're not exactly sure where to start in answering that question, this post will be super helpful for you! We'll go through the eight play personalities, also known as styles of play. For each category, I’ll give a couple examples of how the style of play may have shown up for you in childhood, as well as how the style might show up for you now in adulthood. That’s right, play styles don’t just disappear when we grow up, we simply find more socially acceptable ways to incorporate them into our current lifestyles. Let’s take a look at the styles of play!

What is a Play Personality?

Why Play Style vs. Play Personality?

 

✨ The Storyteller:

Enjoys expressing themselves through words

A set of Eeboo storytelling prompt cards are spread out out on a table in front of a four year old chid.

Traits of the Storyteller During Childhood:

During childhood, the storyteller style could've shown up through a love for dramatic and/or pretend play. You probably got too deep with a Barbie's or action figure's backstory. You might’ve even written in a secret password journal with voice activation.


In Adulthood:

You find ways to bring storytelling into your daily life, rather it’s through journaling, writing poetry, writing for a Medium publication, writing on Substack, or even taking time to craft the perfect Instagram caption. This play style can also show up through participation in an improv group or theatre.


Popular Movie or TV Characters: Harriet from Harriet the Spy; Kay Panabaker from Read It and Weep; Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl; Lexi from Euphoria  


📝 Play Ideas:

  • Buy blank books or board books at a craft store

  • Retell classic fables or folktales (The Tortoise and the Hare; The Three Little Pigs; The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Goldilocks and the Three Bears) 

  • Make up stories and narrate them aloud! 

    • If you hit gold and make up a story that your kid wants you to retell over and over again, record it as an audio file and they can have their own personalized audiobook

    • If you happen to own a Yoto player, you can also make your own Yoto audio card! 

  • Create A Story prompt cards from Eeeboo

  • Puppets 


 

✨ The Director:

Natural leader and visionary, likes to take charge 


Traits of the Director During Childhood:

You were often the kid that led group play and other kids were more than happy to go along with the roles and scenarios you dished out. 

View of two kid's hands as they put together a puzzle map of the world featuring animals around the world.

 

In Adulthood:

Within your family or friend groups, you tend to be the one that takes initiative to get everyone together for a group gathering or vacation. You may be the designated class parent or have a position on the parent-teacher’s board. You might even genuinely enjoy planning and organizing birthday parties or themed events.    


Popular Movie or TV Characters: Angelica from Rugrats; Carly from iCarly; Miss Piggy from The Muppets; Lincoln Loud from The Loud House


🧩 Play Ideas: Play classic childhood games that allow you to take the lead. You might also prefer close-ended toys. These toys are designed for kids to create a specific end result; your kiddo will likely turn to you for guidance or assistance, and with only one solution, you can offer them the direction they’re seeking.


Classic Childhood Games: Simon Says; Mother May I; Red Light, Green Light; What Time Is It Mr. Fox; Follow the Leader


Close-ended Toys: Challenging floor puzzles; LEGO building sets; activity books featuring mazes, crossword puzzles, word searches, sudokus (for older kids)


 

✨ The Competitor:

Finds joy in competing, winning, or striving for their personal best

Kid's hand placing a circle token inside of a slot during a game of Four In a Row. The game board is made of natural wood.

Traits of the Competitor During Childhood:

As a competitor kid, you likely gravitated towards individual sports or activities that resulted in clear winners and losers. Chances are you might’ve even entered lots of school, local, or national competitions.    


In Adulthood:

As an adult, you still find fulfillment in activities with defined winners or losers (pickleball; squash or racquetball; golf; tennis; bowling). You may also compete against yourself by striving to beat your personal best time it takes you to xyz (ex: run a mile, swim a lap) or regularly enter races like the turkey trot. Aside from sports, competitor styles may also enjoy competitive games like chess, table games at the casino, or video games like MarioKart.  


Popular Movie or TV Characters: Reggie Rocket from Rocket Power; Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story; Akeelah from Akeelah and the Bee; Lightning McQueen from Cars 


🏆 Play Ideas:  Try playing kid-friendly board games or card games that result in someone winning. 


Board Games:  Zingo; Candyland; Chutes & Ladders


Card Games:  Memory Matching; Go Fish; Spot It


Video Game: Just Dance!


 

✨ The Collector:

Collects things or achievements 

American Girl doll named Molly sits upright on a stool. She has two braids tied at the ends with red ribbon. She's wearing a red, green, white, and black plaid school dress.

Traits of the Collector During Childhood: You might’ve collected trendy kid’s toys such as Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Digimon, or baseball cards; American Girl dolls; Hot Wheels, or Beanie Babies. It’s also possible you were a collector of simple things like stickers or coins. 


In Adulthood: Vinyl record collector? Is your house covered in houseplants? Have a Lego diorama collection? Perhaps you collect currency from around the world, fine art, or antiques? These are all play styles of a collector. I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the kidults that still collect Pokémon or Magic: The Gathering trading cards!


Popular Movie or TV Characters: Ariel from The Little Mermaid; Ash Ketchum from Pokémon; 


🧸 Play Ideas: 


Vinyl Collector:  One of the best things about vinyls is their sound quality. Put on your favorite record from your vinyl collection and have a dance party with your kiddo.


Plant Lovers:  If you’re a plant lover, hand your kiddo a travel-size spray bottle and ask them to help water the plants. 


Fine Art Collector:  If you’re a collector of fine art, buy a few canvases from the craft store and allow your kiddo to create pieces of art that they’re proud of to display around the house (even if it’s just their room or a closet). 


 

✨ The Explorer:

Driven by discovery

Child sitting on the floor while holding Sibley's Bird Guide pamphlet.

Traits of the Explorer During Childhood: As an explorer kid, you likely thrived off of your curiosity about the world and tended to be a hands-on learner. In science class, it wasn’t enough to read about chemical reactions, you were keen on mixing baking soda and vinegar together to understand chemical reactions through firsthand experience.    


In Adulthood: You might be a travel lover or enjoy exploring new places in your city or town. 


Popular Movie or TV Characters: Dora from Dora the Explorer; Eliza Thornberry from The Wild Thornberrys; Moana from the movie Moana; Luca from the movie Luca; Steve Irwin; Mirabel from Encanto 


⛰️ Play Ideas: Kids are naturally curious (especially toddlers) and insist on knowing why! Lean into their curiosity and your passion for exploring to show them why. For example, if your kiddo asks, “why is that bird holding a stick?” You could respond with, “maybe the stick is for its nest. Let’s go on a walk to see if we can find its' nest!” 


Toys & Supplies: Binoculars; mini flashlights; Sibley's backyard bird guide; Merlin Bird ID app (Download for Apple | Download for Android)

 

✨ The Kinesthete:

Requires movement of their body


Five yoga pose cards for kids spread across a play rug. The poses are illustrated in watercolor paints.

Traits of the Kinesthete During Childhood: As a kinesthete kid, you were likely a child that spent a lot of time engaged into active play. Odds are you tried almost every sport and probably heard your caregivers say that you were a kid that “really needed outdoor time.” In reality, all kids need outdoor time.   


In Adulthood: As a grownup, you continue to find fulfillment through physical activity and finding ways to express yourself through movement. Some activities of interest might include: dance, yoga, running, skiing, snowboarding, surfing, or swimming. Unlike the competitor, you find enjoyment in movement itself and have little regard for winning.  


Popular Movie or TV Characters: 

Tigger from Winnie the Pooh; Luisa from Encanto; kids from Rocket Power (what sport didn’t those kids play)


🧘🏽‍♀️ Play Ideas:

Yoga is an easy activity to do with babies and kids ages 2 and up (my favorite sets of cards: Mindful & Co yoga flash cards); dance parties; Twister; Kids in Action songs (toddlers love the song, "The Way We Do it" by Greg & Steve)

 

✨ The Creator/Artist:

Finds joy in inventing or making things


Child, age seven holding up a canvas in front of her face. The canvas features rainbow watercolor like design with black sharpie.

Traits of the Creator/Artist During Childhood: You worked hard to hone a specific skill or interest in pursuit of creating something magical. Or, you might recall having an entrepreneurial spirit and would come up with super creative inventions or solutions. 


In Adulthood: As a grownup, you’ve either found a way to integrate your talent into your full-time work, remain engaged in the interest as a hobby, or have unconsciously forgotten about your skill. Maybe you dabble in playing an instrument, love to cook or bake, or sell handmade jewelry on Etsy? Whichever the case is for you, there are so many ways for you to weave your creativity into play with your kid!


Popular Movie or TV Characters: Peppa Pig; Ada Twist from Ada Twist the Scientist; Miguel from Coco; Isabela from Encanto; Dexter from Dexter’s Laboratory; Alfredo from Ratatouille 


🎨 Play Ideas: 

For the Inner Inventor:  Science experiments or Kiwi Co kits


For the Entrepreneur: DIY Grocery Store


For the Artist:  Open-ended art materials (watercolor paints, paint sticks, oil pastels, bleeding tissue paper);


For the Musisian: musical instruments (egg shakers, Loog guitar); have dance parties to your favorite tracks


For the Chef/Baker:  give kid small tasks to assist with meal preparation; have kid help you make a batch of homemade cinnamon play dough; allow kid to help with kitchen chores


 

✨ The Joker:

Jokester, class clown 

Three young boys holding emoji photo props up to their faces. They are inside of a house.

Traits of the Joker During Childhood:

You were the class clown and a teacher's headache with the unique ability to make anyone smile. Your silliness and lightheartedness   


In Adulthood:

Some jokers turn out to be actual comedians or go on to channel their humor into social media accounts and become influencers. More commonly, class clown skills evolve into sarcasm or clever wit. While you might receive feedback from your partner, family, or friends to “take things more seriously,” leaning into your joker play style can be very beneficial in strengthening your connection with kiddos. Kids love to laugh!


Popular Movie or TV Characters: SpongeBob SquarePants; Will Smith from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air; Cosmo from The Fairly Oddparents; Sam from iCarly; YouTube “Dudes” from Dude Perfect 


🤪 Play Ideas: Read a book of jokes to your kid. Have tickle fights. Play a game of who can make the silliest face. Try whoopie cushions or other lighthearted prank toys. 


Silly Tabletop Games:  Hedbanz or Hedbanz Junior


 

As the saying goes, "don't hate the player, hate the game." That's to say, it's not play that you dislike, it's the games, activities, or play scenarios that you're doing with your little one. We all have preferences for certain styles of play.


Once you pinpoint the styles that interest you, playing with your kiddo will start to feel authentic and enjoyable. Remember, kid's speak and connect through play. The more we can find ways to speak their language, the more connected they'll feel with their caregivers!


Thanks for playing with me! If you have any ideas you think I should add to this list, feel free to share in a comment below!

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